At the risk of being culturally insensitive, I’m posting a faux-fried rice recipe to suit those of us who have a love-hate relationship with this nutritionally devoid yet ridiculously addictive grain.
Yeah yeah, asians are skinny and all they eat is rice, right? For the record, a couple of my chinese friends brought that one up. Answer: I know what works for me, and rice does not! Its high glycemic starchy goodness jacks up my appetite, making me a threat to anything carby with a one mile radius. Then it’s off to slumberland to sleep away the carb-induced lethargy. The seratonin high that hits you after the first few forkfuls is pretty intense (do I sounds like a junkie?), but productive when you need to get back to studying? Not so much. My exam weeks were probably a lot more stressful then they should have been with all the Dragon Gate meals I would pack away under pressure.
Savor the salty goodness of a beloved Americanized asian staple and your mental acuity with this low carb adaptation. This is not an original recipe, by the way. Some brilliant low carb chef who came before me cooked up (har!) this crazy idea. The rice component is replaced by grated cauliflower, no joke, prepared with the same familiar flavorings. It’ll smell funky in the pan for a moment, but then your kitchen will fill with the comforting aroma of a Panda Express kitchen. Bonuses: It takes a lot less time, packs a nutritional punch (courtesy of the brassicas), and won’t leave you with a carb hangover.
This recipe is totally flexible. Use whatever veggies you like. Make it yours! I happened to have peas on hand, and was out of green onions. Carrots are pretty “traditional” in this, too. Be warned: this is just as tasty as the original, and possibly more flavorful because you’re not deeling with the heaviness of the rice gunking it all up. Seriously, you might want to make this with a hungry friend to solve any portion control issues.
The shrimp got decapitated by my vigorous wok action.
Shrimp Fried “Rice”
Makes 3 servings
2 heapings cups of grated fresh cauliflower
2 tablespoons coconut oil (any cooking oil is fine)
1/2 cup sugar snap pea pods
1/3 cup onion, chopped
4 tablespoons wheat-free tamari or soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon sesame oil
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
dash of garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1-4 oz can of baby shrimp, or protein of choice
1/4 cup of green peas
2 eggs, beaten
green onion, for garnish (optional)
Grate cauliflower using a fine cheese grater. Heat up pan with 1 tablespoon of coconut oil. Mix together sesame oil, tamari, and seasonings in a bowl. Sautee onions for 3 minutes over medium heat, or until translucent. Remove from pan and set aside. Sautee sugar snap peas until tender. Add more oil if necessary and all of the cauliflower, stir frying for a couple of minutes. Pour in 1/2 of the soy sauce mixture and stir fry to coat the cauliflower evenly. When the cauliflower is tender, add cooked vegetables, shrimp, and peas along with the rest of the soy sauce mixture. Push “rice” to the side of the pan and scramble eggs on the other side, moving spatula quickly to incorporate eggs with the “rice” mixture. Serve in cute bowls with chopsticks and pig out with no regrets!
Excuse me now…
~7g net carbs
P.S.- Now accepting donations of pretty plates and bowls!
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